Advice to a Fledgling Writer

Dear Uncle Scrivener:

I want to write, but I can’t seem to get started. Besides, I don’t think I have anything to say. Do you have any advice for me? -- Lonely Pen in Nebraska

Dear Lonely Pen:

I sympathize with your plight. Sounds like me as I was beginning. Here’s some scrivening that may be helpful:

Never Give Up. Are you writing already? I’d bet that you are. But perhaps you’re not yet tackling that story/memoir/play/project you’d like to be working on. I bet that out there in Nebraska (Willa Cather country, full of story), you are writing something (long e-mail, blog, journal) at least once a week, maybe even once a day. And that, trust me, is a great start. Keep writing. Don’t give up.

I always wanted to write. I was the kid with the qwertyuiop keyboard, pecking away at night, writing to friends or in my journal. But I didn’t think I had anything to say in the way of story. For years. Until: A man whom I knew only slightly showed up wearing a red scarf. I asked him why. “I want to be a playwright,” he said, “and I’m starting from the outside.” Smash that together with some family members, start writing, put them in a kitchen, start them talking, see where it goes, and there’s the first story. But up until the Smash, I just kept writing—writing to friends, sharing bits about my life, writing in my journal, just, you know, writing—so when my time came for a story, I felt comfortable enough with the act of writing to just go ahead, jump off the cliff, and swim with the story.

Writing is writing. Sounds oxymoronic, I know. But the truth is, if you prime the pump by getting words on paper—journal, lengthy letters or e-mails, volunteer articles for the church bulletin, whatever—you will be in a position to leap over the fear-wall and (cliché, but true) just … do … it.

You’ll Know When You’re Ready. The Smash came, and I thought, “I have to try this.” If that first story, “Uncle Louis,” hadn’t worked, then I think the next story would have. The most difficult part was keeping moving, keeping the faith, after the first five pages. And the hardest part after that was letting someone else see this tender green shoot of a first effort. Took me about a year.

Choose your Muse. It takes a lot of back and forth with the world before you get to the place where rejections become “the next step on the way to a Yes.” And that’s just in the sending out. I had one story bounce around for 16 years before—much to my amazement, because I’d changed nothing but the title—it was scooped up within two weeks by a really fine literary magazine.

The first years of writing were really difficult. I was lucky that the first person to read “Uncle Louis” responded very positively (“It’s a real story,” he said. “I like it.”). Later, with another story, a friend’s critique drove me to sever the relationship for over a year and to stop writing for six months. Neither of those reactions was at all useful, I hasten to say. And much of his critique was valid. But those were very tender years.

I left several writing groups because they turned out to be competitive and nasty rather than nurturing and supportive. Life’s too short and the muse is too tricky to waste time bobbing and weaving around “Well, I suppose it’s a nice little story, but I can’t imagine anyone publishing it.” Sigh. I learned my lesson. My first play came into being working in a group where the rule was: Only positive comments (Not blowing smoke, just doing what your grandmother taught you: “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything.”) Listening for the possibility of change in a positive context made all the difference.

Mind Your P’s & Q’s. Just an old fashioned way of reminding you to check and double check spelling and grammar, punctuation and usage. Nothing irritates a reader more than misspelled words or lazy punctuation. The thinking goes: “If I can’t trust you, the writer, to get the spelling and grammar right, how can I trust anything you’re saying to me?” Harsh, but true. And such an easy fix, even though it means making sure you read your work closely. (Spell Check isn’t going to fix your its-it’s-their-there-they’re problem; you’ll have to fix those yourself.) And find the correct format for presentation: For instance—Contact info and word count at the top; title and byline; story with running head with title, author and page number; and at the end, “THE END”.

Send and Move On. If your story’s ready, then it’s ready. Submit it—probably online, but maybe through the post office. Give yourself a hearty pat on the back and a tasty treat, reward for a job well done. Then sit down and begin the next story/play/memoir/project. And if nothing’s there yet, write in your journal about “the vastness of the empty space of nothingness” (or whatever), until you overhear or see or remember that detail that seems ready for a SMASH.

For A Writer, Everything Counts. I can’t tell you the number of times when, sitting with a dry well, nothing to say, I’ve pieced through an old journal or looked at an abandoned draft and thought: “Hey, not bad. There actually might be something there.” Nine times out of ten, there is. Don’t throw anything away. In the words of the great guru Uncle Scrivener, “Y. N. K.” (Ya’ Never Know.)

Keep Writing…

THE END

Guiding the Lost in New York City

Mostly, I’ve given up being helpful. I have stopped trying to guide the lost, with their noses iPhone-glued on street corners, wondering which way the blue dot is trending, because their answer is usually a “no, I’m fine” growl. Me and my machine, we've got it covered. Also men, of course, feel very threatened by a stranger who might suggest their sense of direction is wussy. So I stopped. For the most part.

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Word and The Universe

You’ve got a program. More accurately, your computer has a program. You begin to enter the date and suddenly handy-dandy Word completes it for you. Thank you, Word. Until it doesn’t. What!!??!! Suddenly, every day is February 23. Which means you (or in this case I) have to think about which day it is. And then, key by key by key (oh, the labor!) insert the real date.

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"How do you do it here?"

I count it a good day when, because the line at the post office is out the door and only one person is behind the counter, I go to French Roast for a very late breakfast, and am seated next to a young aspiring male model and an older making-his-living male model/actor guy, and can listen to them talk strategy and tactics:

“Don’t come in desperate for the job, they can smell it.”

“I know.  My friend says he always books more when he comes back from vacation. Where do you live now?”

“I’m on the Lower East Side.  I kicked out all my roommates, but then I couldn’t make the rent, but then this actress friend of mine needed a place for herself for the fall, so I have these really good friends in Williamsburg and they let me stay on their couch so I made a ton a money and now I’m back in the place.”

“How do you do it here?”

“You just have to give yourself enough time to figure it out.  Can’t do it all at once, you know?  But here I am, and I’ve booked a couple of small roles in movies up in Canada, and I’m getting good modeling gigs, taking class, and I’m applying to Yale Drama School, but I’ve got this scholarship at Lee Strassberg.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah, it just takes time, you know? … And you gotta stick with it.”

New York.  Ever changing.  Ever the same.  City of dreams.  City of invention of self, of invention of others.

And, after lunch, on line at the PO… The women of a certain age in front of me are talking about going to see the Gilbert & Sullivan Society’s production of “Patience,” and how terrific that it got such a great review in the Times.

“My friend, she’s an actress, she posted on her Facebook this morning that the lead just got his Equity card.  Isn’t that terrific?”

Of course I joined in this conversation.  I was doing G&S when I was a freshman in high school in San Francisco.  And from there the conversation moved to the state of the post office, the demise of St. Vincent’s Hospital, our betrayal by former City Council Speaker Christine Quinn, the hope of our new City Council rep Corey Johnson, the role of New York University as “The Tomato That Ate Greenwich Village,” and the fact that one of the women, a former actress, is a cancer survivor and needs to write a book and is blocked.  Blocked Writers R Me.  She has my card.

And then I get to climb the 41 steps to the third floor between the wig shop and the Chinese lighting store, find a cubby, get my coffee, and begin to write.

Way Back When Pt. 1

September 1957. My new stepfather was a banker named Ray Gevrez Scott. He dropped me and my new stepbrother Richard (headed for MIT) in Boston after our cross-country road trip from California. Pre-interstate. Sharing the driving. Cheap motels. Landscape passing. Bad road food. Five days of Heaven. I mean, for me, the best two words in the English language are “Road Trip.”

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Self Storage

Driving south into rural Maryland the four-lane highway, dotted with traffic lights, cleaves through strip malls offering the usual rural services in a recovering economy: bail bonds, pawn brokers, mortgage re-financing, pay day loans, and self- storage.  It was the latter—sitting with my foot on the brake at a really long red light—that caught my attention.

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The Limo Guy and Mr. Rockefeller

I have met my friend Josh The Alaska Poet for coffee at French Roast on Sixth.  It’s really cold.  People are bundled. When the restaurant’s front door opens, even with an outside door, it’s a meat locker blast inside.  Josh and I have run through plans for his zine, TwentyFourHours, and for re-issuing our Fables for the New Millennium.  He’s headed now to pick up his wife from her mid-town editing job, but we’re continuing the conversation as we walk south on Sixth, nearing the castle of the Jefferson Market Library (formerly the Women’s House of Detention) across the street.

And there’s the beggar who, 15 years ago, used to stand in front of the A & P, even after it morphed into the ultra-snooty overpriced Food Emporium.  I never liked this guy; I always thought he was the beggar with the limo around the corner.  I don’t know this for a fact, but in my lexicon, he’s The Limo Guy. This is the man who shakes his cup, jingle-jangle, and says “Can you help me out, gentlemen?”

He’s now moved across the street and is standing near the former Jefferson Market food store that will soon be the sales office for the condos that are replacing St. Vincent’s Hospital.  Later, for that. For now, I turn to say something to Josh, but he has turned back and is giving money to The Limo Guy.  I wait.  Josh catches up with me.  We start walking, and I say, “I never give money to that guy; I don’t trust him.  Not that I’m a miser when it comes to guys on the street.  There’s this guy, we call him “Mr. Rockefeller…”

“Cause he’s rich?” asks Josh.

“No,” I say.  “Because when he’s out on the street, he’s always saying ‘Hey, Mr. Rockefeller, got a nickel?’”  And I continue to tell Josh how this Rockefeller guy, whose name is Jimmie, won’t let me give him anything because he and I have these great political discussions.

At which point the guy who’s suddenly walking next to me, an African-American guy wearing a Yankees cap, says: “That Jimmie sure is something.”

“Have you seen him lately?” I say. “I get worried about him when I don’t see him.  You remember he was in the VA hospital for a long time.”

“I remember,” says the guy.  “But I just saw him last week.  He’s fine.”

“Well, tell him I said Hi,” I say.  “Robert,” I say.

“I’ll do that,” he says.  And he walks off as I say goodbye to Josh and go into the grocery store.

Serendipity is one of this city’s great gifts.  Keep your eyes on this spot.

Aunt Cat's Picture

Aunt Cat's Picture

You asked about what happened, so I tried to remember. Mama never talked about it, not to me at least. What’s here is what I pieced together, through overheard words, voices raised and lowered, looks—the shards stuck in a brain corner, wanting to merge, waiting for a stray sunbeam to strike the remnants from, say, pieces of broken glass, and suddenly, there’s a pattern.

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Minox

Minox

The guy in the picture came back into my life like Marley’s ghost. Of course I knew that face. It was the lead picture in my exhibition in that winter of ’95. When I walked into the gallery, there he was, sitting by the window, an older guy in a trench coat looking like the wind would blow him into the Hudson. He stared, then motioned me to come over. I was surprised he knew who I was.

He answered my question without my asking: “I saw you back then. I got a good memory,” he said. Thirty years ago I was a kid.

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Ant Chalk

Ruby and I met outside the Prado in Madrid two Octobers ago. It was late afternoon; I had a bad case of Museum Feet (a happy case, let me add: the Prado had been stunningly wonderful) and wanted to sit with a soda and read about home. There was a newsstand. A blond, American-looking woman was buying a Herald Tribune. I said something like "I hope your stocks are doing better than mine…" No plan on my part, just innocuous stranger-to-stranger-in-a-strange-land chat. Could have gone either way. The Uh-Huh Me Too Nod Turn and Leave; The Yeah Me Too How're You Doing Smile and Stay. It was, of course, the latter.

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qwertyuiop

The typewriter was a gift from my mother. Must have been from her alone, after the divorce, because I have no memory of a typewriter back in the junior high day of writing dialogue about Caesar on Ides Eve. And I know there was no typewriter with me in Europe in 1952. I would definitely remember typing on the freighter during that three-week voyage to Le Havre, would probably have sat ostentatiously at the mess table during the typhoon, strapped myself in, and typed. There was no typewriter in my boarding school room at the Ecole Internationale de Geneve, nor during the summer travels to Scandanavia in England and France, nor during the winter term in the rented apartment. There was, however, a piano there for me to practice on. Several Mozart sonatas still come at me with steam heat and the strong smell of dead, wet, brown leaves.

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Beginning To Write

At the top of the stairs, listening to my breath, I punch in the five number code, the red light turns green, there is a click, I open the door, I exhale and then inhale the air inside, a compound of old floor and new ideas. Once inside, I walk the eight steps down the hall, past the lockers on one side and the coat hooks on the other, and then I open the inner door and enter the room.

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