The post-zapping cancer recovery seemed to be going a little slowly, so gradually in fact that some days it was almost unnoticeable.
“Are you sure you’re all right?” was a pertinent question that hung in the air more times than not. Or, “You don’t seem as sharp as you used to.” Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the horse you rode in on.
And yet, it was true. Sleeping at a normal, regular time had become an abnormal, irregular event; the senior memory moments seemed deeper, more frequent; and yes, I was experiencing some loss of feeling in my feet. And and and...
I made an in-person appointment to see my GP, Dr. LowKey. After some chit chat and pokes and prods he says, “I want you to see a neurologist.” That appointment had to be made with a special note; Dr. Neuro was booked through Christmas. Popular guy, unfortunately—or not, depending which way you look at it, or don’t want to look at it. Thankfully, my GP pulls some strings and I get an appointment the following week.
Dr. Neuro observes, touches and pokes, asks questions and makes notes. The end result?
“You have Parkinson’s Disease.”
GACK! NO! IRONY! IRONY! IRONY ALERT!
But, but, but? Didn’t I just get through dealing with prostate cancer? Hey, Universe! What’s going on here?
What’s going on here is coping with change. It’s a dopa pill three times a day; it’s a happy pill once a day; it’s weekly massage and acupuncture; it’s a daily circuit of exercises; it’s Physical Therapy twice a week at an extremely remote facility on Manhattan’s East Side. It’s dealing with despair and anger and working on acceptance and tenacity.
And it’s also beginning to think about the possibility of picking up an idea and exploring whether it might contain the germ of an idea for a short story, or a play, or just anything that’s worth writing about. And if so, what the first word might or might not be.
These are my first words on this matter, here at least. The next question becomes, both with writing work and with life, am I ready for Word Two?
I’ll definitely let you know.
"Past Tense" performed at The Pittsburgh New Works Festival
Below is the video recording of a performance (video starts at 31:09) of "Past Tense," written by Robert Moulthrop, and produced by The South Hills Players, in the Pittsburgh New Works Festival.